I used to hear people say ‘’don’t awaken love until it so pleases.” I did not understand what exactly that meant until I fell in love prematurely. From what I know now, I think love is something we ought to prepare for, and not jump into. Don’t get me wrong, I love relationships and all the beautiful things it comes with. Before getting into a relationship, there’s always a single season. A season that should be effectively maximized.
Now let me quickly say that if you are single, nothing is wrong with you, you are perfectly okay. The problem now is many people want to be in relationships when they don’t even know themselves yet. Adam was single before God presented Eve to Him. If Adam did not know who he was, how was the poet in him supposed to come alive? When he saw Eve he knew! How else can you explain this ” this is the bone of my bone…” You get the drift?
If you are single right now, and you long to be in a relationship which is a very healthy longing, it could go two ways if you spend all your time obsessing over how single you are, or completely maximize your single season. No the question is, how can you maximize your single season? What are those things you could do?
Let me start by saying that being in a relationship doesn’t stop you from developing yourself, but if you are single, you have all the time in the world to grow and develop yourself. This is the time to focus on your passions, learn that skill you’ve always loved and just grow. I had a short conversation with a woman who is married with two kids. In her exact words, ”travel and see the world now that you are single,” she mentioned how before she made any decision, minor or major, she had to consider her family. Although she was speaking from the angle of marriage but I think it can also apply to relationships. Let me share this cliché quote, be the right person, and the right person will find you.” Discover yourself, learn about your personality type, know your likes and dislikes what do you have passion for? what are your talents? You may not even know what you’re called to do on earth, but it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea to find out, does it? Whatever you’re doing, never stop learning, never stop growing
Focusing on your walk with God
I used to be the kind of person who easily got distracted by relationships, it’s not that I don’t know the right thing to do, but sometimes I just can’t help it. I’m constantly thinking about this person, day dreaming about them, thinking of ways to make them happy. The point is when you are not completely grounded in Gods word, and your relationship with Him has no solid foundation yet, a romantic relationship is not what you need. You’re going to end up a wife and mother one day and also a husband and father, how will you lead your home one day? How will you teach your children to pray ? Remember you cannot give what you have! Learn how to spend time with God in word, worship and prayer, volunteer at church join the workforce, just be there for God.
Ecclesiastes 12:1- Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”
there will come a time when all you will ever think about is pleasing your husband or wife, and as a man, you’re constantly thinking about how to provide for your family. The relationship you developed with God whilst you were young is a seed you have sown and it will surely bear fruits. Don’t waste your youth years pursuing fleeting things, if you are not in a relationship at the moment, it’s a gift, use it wisely. and if you are, don’t neglect God because of a relationship he has the power to bless or curse. Serve God with your youth.
Build Meaningful Long Lasting Friendships
I read an article that opened my eyes to a lot of things about friendship. I cant overemphasize how important it is to have friends who add value to your life, stop having meaningless friendships that draw you further and further away from God and your purpose. I’m thankful God has blessed me with friendships that I wouldn’t trade for nothing. Now that you have the time, nurture your friendships, hang out with your friends, be there for them and pray for them, I mean aren’t they the people you plan on having matching Ferrari’s with?
When you get married and start having children, it’s the quality of friendships you made in the past that will speak (even when you have not spoken to them in months) you can always reach out and you’re sure they will show up except if it’s not possible on their end, not because they don’t want to. Yes you will have new friends but most of the time, you can hardly compare them to old friends. That’s the foundation you have built, this is also a seed, it will bear fruits. Let just quickly address those people who abandon their friends because they have a man or woman in their life, my dear when that man or woman leaves you, all you will have is your friends and if you’ve sent them packing then you will be alone, sorry!
The point of this whole article is make you understand that you do not have to sit around all day waiting for a man who doesn’t even remember your name to call you, do something with your life, stop obsessing over not being in a relationship. When you are busy doing something worthwhile, you become more attractive to the opposite sex. The men will come, the women will come and do you know the most amazing thing about this? YOU WILL HAVE CHOICES!
So be complete in yourself and maximize this gift God has given you until you say I do