Life Lately ; Handling Constructive Criticism

Hello beautiful people. So today I’m dropping my first blog post in April *dances*

I finally made it back guys 😭😭😭. Whew! My absence has been as a result of life happenings and I’m sure we all get to experience that. A lot has been going on with me and it’s definitely not been a walk in the park. If you follow me on instagram, @fisayoade, you’ll see I’ve been talking about growth, learning, becoming, blooming ? Yep! because that’s where I am at this point of my life.

Have you ever gotten to that point where God uses people around you to show you how certain things you do are actually wrong but you didn’t even know? Things you used to do that were normal to you but suddenly someone points it out to you and you realize it isn’t okay? Yup!

At first it felt overwhelming, but right now I’m grateful God put me around people who correct me without sugar coating it. Just hit me with it fam, lol I’m ready to deal with it. Amongst all other things, this process has taught me how to manage criticism, and honestly before now, I couldn’t stand honest feedbacks especially from my friends maybe because deep down I knew it was true or I just couldn’t man up and deal with my feelings. I hated conversations like that, and always avoided them like a plague. Lol and you see life is funny, if you don’t deal with it now, you’re most likely going to deal with it later, it may be harder, and in front of a larger audience

A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there

A transformation process is never going to be easy, you’re going to cry sometimes, feel angry, get sad, complain, but if it’s making you a better person, honey embrace that process like your life depended on it, because it might someday.

So based on my experience, and what I’m learning, these are a few steps on how to handle criticism :

  • Discern

Firstly discern if they’re coming from a place of love. Be sure they want to see you become a better you or they’re just trying to crush your spirit. If they are people who criticise you all the time and choose not to see any good you, don’t listen to them! Block your ears lol maybe not literally or maybe but don’t let what they say have any place in your heart especially when you know its not true.

  • Listen

Initially I used to get really moody, and that clouded my judgement. You need to listen and ask questions before becoming defensive. For example if someone says you’re rude, find out why. Could it be something you did or said that you’re not even aware of, something that has become a habit ? Ask questions, separate yourself from the situation and reason with them. When you don’t see it as an attack, that’s when you’ll see where they’re coming from. It may not feel too good at that point but you’ll be fine.

  • Implement

Make changes! It may not happen over night but baby steps will make a difference. Change doesn’t happen overnight! This is where I currently am, trying to put all I’ve learned into practice. Everyone is going through a process, and I believe we’re all a work in progress.

  • Be easy on yourself

No one is perfect. No matter what you do, some people can’t be pleased. You Just work on yourself, and don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes.

  • Be thankful

Only people who love you will care, only people who love you will correct you, only people who love you will tell you the honest truth.

Most importantly, let the Holy Spirit comfort you in this process of ‘becoming’, becoming who God has called you to be. Rest in God’s love, that’s important!

This has been my prayer lately, and you can pray it also, if you speak in tongues, you can do that as well! You pray the Fathers mind when you speak in tongues.

Dear God help me to truly learn all you want me to learn in this season of my life, help me to be teachable and open to corrections so I become who you’ve called me to be. Amen!

So I’ve come to the end of today’s post. I hope y’all learned something, and I hope this also blessed you. How do you deal with criticism? Have you gone through this phase in your life before?

Kindly leave a comment below, let’s learn from each other.

Fisayo ❤

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Fisayo😭😭😭👏👏 Thank you! Glad you’re learning to accept correction and constructive criticism . I too hated it but had to learn and im forever more grateful to my critics than praise singers.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you dear! I’m glad I’m not alone on this. May God give us strength 😊. Happy Sunday!

      Like

  2. Prisca says:

    Fifi very true, it’s hard to receive some criticism especially from people closed to you. I remember when I was in school at some certain period my very good friends were pointing out lots of my flaws. Sincerely it was hard to accept them but I was glad I did, because it made me a better Prisca. Thanks for this fisayo am one of your secret blog readers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwwwn ❤. Thank you for being finally taking off that mask girl! Handling criticism and working on yourself is never easy but it’s always worth it in the end. Don’t go into hiding again. Thanks for your honest feedback 😊

      Like

  3. Debs says:

    Fisayo! You hit the nail on the head. Interesting point and the explanation sef are so insightful. Before I used to let every criticism get to me. It bothers me so much that I can’t do anything meaningful with myself afterwards but then I realize that people will always have something to say. It is totally up to you to decide which is genuine and which is meant to really dampen your spirit.

    It is just like praise, some will praise you just because it is what you want to hear without meaning it. Hence, it is very important for us to understand which is borne out of love or hate and pray for the spirit of patience to deal with it.

    Thanks for this post, Fisayo. I am going to bookmark already.

    http://www.debwritesblog.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comments are always heart warming Debby! May God give us the grace to rise above it and become better people. Thank you darling ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Before I handled it, pretty much like you. Being defensive and all. But since I embraced it and welcomed it. Things have changed. I purposely meet my “sisters” to critic me time to time. Its really helpful when you have the right people around you helping you grow. Nice one dear❤

    http://www.oluwatobifusika.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! I should start a monthly critique me exercise or something! Thank you for sharing Tobi! Appreciate your feedback

      Like

  5. zaynab says:

    i use to hate criticism too and always defensive but here i am being a better me. Sometimes its actually hard especially when its coming from your love ones. Thank you for the tips

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Cheers to becoming a better us ❤. And you’re welcome 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Tamie says:

    I recently got a criticism I didn’t agree with. But I shocked myself into standing for more than thirty minutes and listening to the person.
    When I realized a few things.. The person genuinely thought they were helping me, so it kinda was from a good place. I had grown and become less defensive even when I didn’t agree to their perspective. I sampled opinion on the subject matter and understood better where the criticism was coming from.

    I’m still learning on how to process being criticized but I’ve sure come a long way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amazing. Everything you’ve said is true! Let’s keep learning and growing! Thank you for reading ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I love your blog ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ❤❤❤

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s