The Comparison Trap

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise -2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV

One of the best ways to feel discouraged and discontent with your portion is comparison. I know some of us at some point in our lives have struggled or still struggling with this thing called comparison.

In this social media driven word, it’s very easy to compare another person’s life controlled online content with your reality. It’s easy to see a really great picture dripping with smiles and happiness but in reality they may have just had a bad day, and you’re left feeling sad because they’re having such an amazing life and you’re not.

I’m not saying there aren’t people who have amazing lives and are truly happy behind the scenes of social media because there are, quite a number. My point is nobody’s life is perfect, we all have struggles and things that stress us out sometimes, but comparing your whole life to another person’s is a disservice to yourself and all God has called you to be.

It’s okay to have people you look up to, people who you admire and want to be like “when you grow up” but there’s a problem when you’re constantly obsessing about every single detail of their life, trying to copy and match up to everything they do. Some of us grew up in homes where our parents or guardians “unintentionally” compared us to one cousin somewhere or even our friends. It’s painful to say, but growing up in that kind of environment can make comparison seem normal or okay, but it’s not.

If you find yourself trying to be better than that “cousin” or “friend” and everyday you’re trying to see if you’re doing better or they are so you can feel good or not about yourself, there’s a big problem.

Why allow someone’s else’s life become yardstick to determine if you are successful or not? Don’t do it, it’s a trap.

We all have different lives, families, careers, countries, skin color, achievements, struggles and opportunities. There’s so much uniqueness, and that’s the beauty about life. It’ll be really unwise to compare two things that aren’t even similar. God was so intentional that he didn’t let one person in the world have a matching finger print, not even twins, so what exactly is our problem? Or how is it doing us ? ( if you’re not Nigerian, this just sums up “what’s wrong with us?” πŸ˜‚

To be honest, I’ve had many people tell me how I’m “living the life” or ask me to lend them some huge amount of money just by looking at my instagram photos and I’m just here like “egbami” aka “collect me” because some of the time, I’m not at my best place, it’s just the beauty of the Lord upon me. I hope someone can relate?

Bonus tip – Yoruba is a Nigerian language, When you translate it literally in English, it’ll mean something else. Egabami is supposed to mean “save me” but when translated literally, lol it comes out as “collect me” πŸ˜‚

Moving on, lol it’s important to fall in love with your life and your purpose, things may not be great every time but it’s okay because we’ll figure it out as long as we stick with God.

Protect your heart from envy and jealousy. If God does something for someone around you, be truly happy for them, celebrate with them and thank God on their behalf because that’s the kind of attitude that’ll attract the same blessings to your life. This may not be easy to do especially if things are not so great with you, but always remember that whatever you despise, you cannot be or have.

Our flesh wants to feel bad and curl up, wallow in self pity, and ask God “why not me ?” but if that ever helped, shouldn’t things have changed by now?

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ – 2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV

“So how can I stop comparing my life to another person’s life, how can I stop being so jealous of other people ?”

  • Guard your heart against it (heart checks)
  • Be thankful always and count your blessings
  • Pray for the people you feel jealousy towards
  • Focus on your strengths and abilities

Lastly let say that we’re all at different stages of our lives, don’t compare your morning season to another’s night season, the scale isn’t fair.

I think I need to stop typing here lol. I’ve come to the end if this post. I hope this was really helpful. Contributions? Feedback? Please do leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading.

Fisayo ❀

Outfit details :

Hair and Makeup : Ponytail Made by me

Outfit: LNL ( Nigerian brand )

Bangle : Mama ❀

23 Comments Add yours

  1. [ Smiles ] It is a waste of time comparing ourselves to others, because we are unique!

    Like

    1. Yess! We’re all unique. Thank you Renard.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. [ Smiles ] You are welcome, Fisayo.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Debs says:

    Fisayo for the win!

    There was a point in my life that all I did was compare myself with every girl on the gram and Snapchat and wonder why they have got their shit all fixed up and I can’t even fix anything in mine.

    But I realized that people only show us what they want us to see. They are dealing with so much BS that we would never know until somehow it comes out.

    And I took a pause and told myself that’s the end of this. I am going to live my life as it is and enjoy it ome day at a time. And now people thinks I have arrived, lols.

    I think this is just a mentality amongst us. We are always quick to judge people based on what we see. Forgetting that with every perfect picture, there are thousand unshared imperfect ones.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow! ”with every perfect picture, there are a thousand unshared imperfect one’s” Thank you for sharing your story Debs’s. I always look forward to your feedback.
      Cheers to living our best lives without any comparison. Thank you ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for this Fisayo.

    Its a really huge trap. Our standard is God, not anyone else. Sometimes I log out of my Instagram just to focus on me and not others. I turn my attention back to God and stop comparing myself to people.

    Like

    1. yass! sometimes that social media break is so important. Thank you for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ozioma Paul says:

    You are so on point with this!
    I catch myself doing this sometimes and I immediately correct myself. Thanks for sharing dear πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Yassss! Thanks b. Comparison is the thief of joy. Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

  5. People who constantly compare their lives with others whether online /offline are never happy and i thank God i don’t do that to myself.
    Whenever things gets so overwhelming, especially on social media, what i do is turn off. I stay away for weeks, months even if necessary and i don’t regret it one bit. Comparison is so toxic!

    A lot of creatives in the blogsphere do this, and it’s so sad. Comparing themselves to other bloggers. “Oh no! She has more likes, comments, followers than i do. But she just started blogging few months ago”

    “How come she already got brand collaboration? but my contents are better!” comparison can stifle our creativity as creators. I just hope a lot of people read this, take note of the lesson and work on improving themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wow sis! you’re right on point with this. I can relate with everything you’ve said. As a blogger and creative, we should strive to be better than who were were yesterday because we’re not in competition with anyone but ourselves. We can draw inspiration from other bloggers, learn from them but comparing your journey would only take your eyes off your own craft and you start to copy without thinking twice. Thanks for your comment, really appreciate the feedback,

      Like

  6. Princess Isu says:

    Wonderful write-up my friend. Thanks for sharing too! I used to do that alot because of some things that happened to me while growing up.
    Coming to this social media age, comparisons naturally are just useless because we all aren’t the same. But sometimes, we humans do that unconsciously. It’s natural! But the ability to realize and control yourself is what makes u reasonable.
    Sometimes, we do this social media comparison not because of comparison itself but it can be an act of motivation or inspiration in order to make us better or do better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comments dear! You hit the nail right on the head. Comparison is a useless activity however comparison should not be a source of motivation to anyone, it’ll lead to unnecessary competition. The only person you should strive to better than is who you were yesterday. Inspiration is great but you have to be careful too 😊😊

      Like

  7. missandrada says:

    Amazing post! It feels my heart with positivity and happiness! πŸ˜€ Just followed you!

    I’m a Fashion blogger at http://www.missandrada.com giving practical advice how women should follow their own personal style and not get influenced by ‘trends’

    Lots of love,
    Andrada

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for stopping by, followed you right back 😊😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Tony Michele says:

    Nice pictures.

    The thief that is comparison..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ah Aunty but seeing this your smiles and fine pissures im tempted to become jelous! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Great post. Thank you for speaking on this. The sad irony is no matter how many times we speak not all of them hear

    Like

    1. Hehe. Thanks alot Deshi. Your comments are always heart warming 😘

      Like

  10. The Ugonna says:

    Absolutely beautiful. But yeah I can relate with the Instagram pictures relating to wealth and people asking to be lent money as well. Let’s just thank God for life and do what we can.
    Please visit inmeforyou.wordpress.com for short stories, meme threads,inspiration and random talk.
    Love xx.

    Like

    1. Glad you could relate. Thanks for stopping by 😊😊😊

      Like

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