If you’re conversant with the recent happenings with the Coza rape scandal, you would agree with me that it’s been a very tough season for many Christians. I’ve tried to put my thoughts down for the longest time but I’ve been numb and uninspired. When the scandal first broke out, I was in denial and then my feelings graduated to anger, disappointment, heartbreak and maybe even shame. I’m still shook about the whole situation but then I feel I’m doing a lot better compared to the emotional wreck I was a few weeks ago. Thanks to the peace of the Holy Spirit and a few friends who have been there.
However, I think there’s still a bit of anger because this hit home deeply. People who know me, can tell how much I love and cherish Coza and everything it stood for, I wore the “Coza cape” with so much pride. I guess that’s why I felt ashamed. I hated that this was happening to Coza, it still feels like a bad dream I need to desperately wake up from. Unfortunately that’s never going to happen because this is reality.
In as much as I’m angry at the situation. I more angry at what it did to Coza members. Indirectly or not, we were all made to take a stand, you’re either in support or not in support, oh the awkwardness and disappointment smh. There’s no grey, it’s black or white. In the quest to support the pastor, many people have thrown common sense and whatever is left of their of humanity out the window. As much as I can’t wake up from this bad dream, there’s a different awakening for me, this is a wake up call for me and maybe other Christians like me. I’m awakened to the realization that the most important relationship in your life should be your relationship with God. I’ve known this but it feels like I know it differently. If you get what I mean. Lol
Do you have a relationship with God or your relationship is with your church and the finesse of being a church goer or being a worker in church ? Maybe you’ve replaced the love you should have for people to love for only members of your church. So, do you really love God like you claim you do?
Oh, I’m not left out, I’m also asking myself these questions. The past three weeks has been filled with questions, questions I didn’t think I’d ever ask. I’ve had to sit down and ask myself several questions. I’v also been reflecting on the things I was taught to believe. The conclusion was for me to go back to the basics because I realized there was so much lacking. I really want to know for myself, not just revelations from the pulpit. So I’m asking you, do you really know God for yourself or you’re living off just what you’re fed with by pastors ? Do you even want to know?
Unfortunately, I came to the realization of the depth of my ignorance when I started to know more. Last month, I signed up for a Bible course, as I sat through the teachings, I was taken aback at how much I didn’t know. There’s so much distraction, even within the walls of the church. It’s easy to get carried away with the activities of religion and forget what is most important.
We have that responsibility as Christians to know. Don’t just rely on just what your pastors and leaders say, if you live your life that way you’ll never know if you’re taught right or being led astray.
I think the summary of my whole post is to encourage christians to know God for themselves, of course with the help of the Holy Spirit. When was the last time you sat down, prayed for understanding and studied the Bible yourself ? When was the last time you invested your time and resources in getting to know God better. Would you even spend your money on getting a new Bible ? Or any material that will help your spiritual growth?
Do not neglect your relationship with God, nothing is worth it, nothing will ever be.
After all the struggles, I’ve been finally able to put up this post. I should also apologize for my hiatus from the blog, ‘adulting’ has been happening to me and it’s a lot to get used to. Good news is that I plan to be more consistent this second half of the year.
If you have any comments, questions or contributions based on my post, please do not hesitate to leave one in the comment box below! Thank you for reading.
Green Wrap dress is from @thriftdreams_ on IG